Change is the only constant. And as we enter our later years, it seems the changes are more frequent. Before writing Life Is in the Transitions, Bruce Feiler interviewed 225 individuals to gain a sense of the ways people navigate disruption across the lifespan. He found that we experience roughly thirty-six transitions in a lifetime, averaging one every twelve to eighteen months. Often several pile up at once, especially when we are older. Common transitions for older adults include a shift in health or ability, a marital change (death or divorce), a new housing situation, or a drop in expected income.
There are general phases to transitions.
One phase is the “long goodbye,” our reconciling with the fact that one aspect of our life is irrevocably coming to a close. Another is the “messy middle”—figuring out how to find balance in the chaos of change. And the third is the “new beginning,” embracing a new way of living.
Here are seven strategies Feiler suggests using during a transition:
- Accept it. Grieving your loss is key for acceptance. Identify the emotions that arise in you as you let go of your old way(s). In Feiler’s study, fear, sadness, and shame were the emotions most commonly cited.
- Mark it. Whether burning a photo, burying a stone, or hanging a prism to represent your next chapter, ritual helps bring closure and open the door to something new.
- Shed it. This is one of the tougher activities. Identify what it is that needs to end: Habits, identity, dreams. Not that you won’t have new dreams or identity. But people describe a kind of molting before finding their new selves.
- Create it. Take up a creative pursuit—ukulele, poetry, juggling, dance. By introducing joy and creativity in the midst of chaos, it appears we cultivate the insight and innovative thinking needed to envision a revised sense of self.
- Share it. Make it real. Talk with others and be open to their wisdom.
- Launch it. People in the study frequently remarked upon their “first normal moment.” The first day without worrying. The first hearty laugh. Unexpectedly, the shadow of the past was superseded by a glimmer of what their new life might be. Nurture that ember when you feel it. Start with small goals or projects that enable you to build momentum in this new direction.
- Tell it. After you’ve regained your footing and are past the raw parts, reflect back. “I was X, then Y happened and I became Z.” Piecing together the meaning of the journey helps stitch your life back together, integrating purpose into your transition.
Who can assist in times of transition?
Aging Life Care Managers®
An Aging Life Care™ Manager is a healthcare professional with training in aging and disability care. They assess needs and coordinate services. They advocate alongside family and other professionals. They create short- and long-term plans that are tailored to you and your goals. Their focus is to protect safety, support independence, and improve quality of life while reducing stress. Many people assume care managers are needed only in a crisis. But the most effective partnerships often begin earlier, when you have time to confer at length about history and priorities.
A recent study from Virginia Tech showed that clients who had identified a care partner early experienced strong satisfaction and measurable benefits. Families reported reduced stress, clearer communication, and stronger decision-making during transitions and emergencies.
There are two common ways people begin this relationship:
The first is early and proactive. You notice small changes in yourself. Medical visits feel more complex or overwhelming. A fall raises concern. You want experienced guidance for lifestyle or long-term care planning. An Aging Life Care Manager can help you understand options and align planning with other professionals, e.g., an estate attorney or wealth advisor. You receive a roadmap and a trusted advisor who already knows your wishes if needs increase or an emergency occurs.
The second is during a crisis. You have an unexpected hospitalization that leaves you vulnerable. Or a sudden cognitive shift. Perhaps your living situation needs to change quickly. Aging Life Care Managers are ready to respond to a variety of crises. However, this means you may need to make big decisions quickly, even while their assessments are still underway.
Care management is usually private pay and billed hourly. You can increase or decrease support as needs change. Medicare does not cover this service. If you have long-term care insurance, review your policy to see if it may reimburse part of the cost.
You may not need active coordination today. But adding this trusted professional to your circle ahead of time can ensure that future decisions are made calmly and clearly. Their experience and compassion can ease the path when needs shift.
Find an Aging Life Care Manager in your area through the Aging Life Care Association™
Senior Move Manager®
Senior Move Management is the profession that assists older adults, individuals, and families with downsizing, relocation or simplifying their homes.
Although specific services vary, most Senior Move Managers® can help with some or all of the following:
- Developing an overall move or “age in place” plan
- Organizing, sorting and downsizing
- Customized floor plans
- Arranging for the profitable disposal of unwanted items through auction, estate sale, buy-out, consignment, donation, or a combination of the above
- Interviewing, scheduling and overseeing movers
- Arranging shipments and storage
- Supervise and oversight of professional packing
- Unpacking and setting up the new home
- Related services, such as cleaning, waste removal, shopping, senior escort, assisting with selection of a realtor and helping prepare the home to be sold.
Some Specialty & Senior Move Managers® provide these services directly; others function in more of an oversight or management role. Senior Move Managers® have extensive, practical knowledge about the costs, quality and availability of various local community resources. Additionally, Senior Move Managers® frequently assist individuals who choose to stay in their own homes, but simply require expert organizational skills and solid knowledge of “aging in place” concepts to help them achieve their goal of … not moving anywhere, but improving quality of life!
What are the real benefits of Move Management services?
- Senior Move Managers® have significant expertise in resources and approaches that save money, reduce stress and produce quality results.
- Services are personalized to meet the client’s needs and preferences.
How much do Senior Move Management® services cost?
- It’s virtually impossible to calculate what a specific move might cost, as the fee can vary considerably by geographic region and the services requested.
- Additionally, some Senior Move Managers® charge their fees on an hourly basis, while others prefer to package the cost of the entire job at one price.
Find a Senior Move Manager through the National Association of Senior Specialty Move Managers
Other professionals that can help during transitions:
- Counselors/Grief Specialists – The Ecumenical Center
- Daily Money Managers – American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADDM)
- Professional Organizers – National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO)
Content provided by Sage Care Management
